I am in the same boat as you, so I have done some asking around. As I understand it. Putting in double flares at a small size can be more challenging because you can't "button" them into your ear, and your ears need to be really healed. I am not buying double flares until I reach my goal size.
Also different pieces of jewelry have drastically different flare sizes. So if you can read reviews find a pair with smaller gentle flares to start out with. I was thinking about getting these
https://www.bodyartforms.com/productdet ... uctID=7442People who get them stuck in their ears often try and stretch with double flares. So if you wait until your ears are ready it shouldn't be a problem. And if it does get stuck, please don't panic. Take a hot shower and use some oil.
Buying a size smaller may not be a bad idea if the piece is described as having "very large flares" Just don't wear them exclusively or yes, your ears will shrink. (although taking the pressure off like that can be really good for the health of your ear) I just wouldn't go river rafting in a size smaller because they'd be more likely to fall out. On the other hand I have heard about people sanding down a flare if they are having trouble with it, or if they feel like the edges are sharp. You can test how much your ears will shrink by wearing no jewelry for an moderate interval of time.